Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Folding to King George


I work a lot of LONG hours. Sometimes 17 or 18 hour days back to back. I come home at four in the morning and want to unwind before going to bed. I can't really watch TV because it disturbs the woman I sleep next to. I prefer to sit down, check my email and play a little online poker.

I put up my $5 or $10 and play for an hour. I lose about $50 every 6-8 weeks and this is my hobby. Something I enjoy doing to kill a little time. I'm not hurting anyone and I can afford my loses.

That was until this last week when the cocksucker we call President decided to pass a fucking law that no longer allows me to do so! He attached it to a port security bill. (A bill that is about five years overdue....but that's a different post)


So I can no longer sit down with my friends and play a low stakes game of poker on line.

This is so far beyond fucking dumb it's actually a new level of stupidity... Even for THIS President.

To show how stupid this is, here is a list of things I can do legally right now.

1. I can buy cigarettes, chewing tobacco, snuff and other cancer causing products that will harm you via second hand smoke and insurance premium hikes when I wind up in the hospital someday.

2. I can buy an assault riffle! I can buy bullets for that gun! I wonder if those girls in Amish country would have said yes to guns and no to online poker?

3. I can buy any and all sorts of beer and Vodka. I can then drink that and drive head on into a family of four!

4. I can join NAMBLA! AKA, "North American Man/Boy Love Association" This is group that preaches "love" between grown men and young boys. I can go to their website and legally sign up for their news bulletin!

5. I can get a shotgun, load it with bird pellet, and shot my good friend in the face! Because I want to be Vice President someday!

However, I can not play online poker!

What the fuck?

Bush won't comment on this part of the bill. He chooses only to dwell on the port security issues. With the elections coming it's business as usual for these assholes. "Let's scare the shit out of people so they vote for us! Oh, and don't mention the fact we ignored the port security thing since 9/11.... Terrorism, BOO!"

"Oh, and I head Osama likes to ante up online so we need to shut that down too"


Eventually, Bush will come out and say he did this to "protect the children"


Maybe he should have legalized it, taxed it and used to money to clean up the air quality in this country. We could have used it to get power plants to upgrade their filters and sweepers to EPA recommended levels.

Check this article out....


It's legal for these companies to poison our children. But I can't sit in my underwear, in the privacy of my own home, and play online poker.

There's something seriously wrong with our priorities in this country folks.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Anyone seen Pete?


I've been to THREE different, large liquor stores this weekend and can not find Pete's Wicked, October Fest!

If anyone sees a six pack please grab it for me.

Every time I ask the clerk says "sorry, we're sold out of that. But we do have the Sam Adams version"

It takes all the restraint I have not to ask them to show it to me and then immediately SLAM the bottle upside their head.

I hate that shit. Don't suggest alternatives! I asked for a specific brand of something! It's like being in the shoe department of Macy's, handing a BLACK shoe to the salesman, asking for it in a size 12 and having him return with it in BROWN! Or my favorite, a different shoe entirely.... In a size 11 and they tell me it runs a "bit big"

Let me try it on!

Oh, and bend over....

I want to show you something

Monday, October 09, 2006

A New Post

Sorry it's been so long...

I have to say thank you to everyone for continuing to check in to see if I've been posting. I'm in the process of trying to find a smaller laptop to carry back and forth to work. Hopefully when that's done I can start posting on a regular basis again.

The one I bought last year is just too damn big to carry back and forth every day.

Anyway..... Here's some stuff that has been on my mind!

1. What the hell happened to Rusty? She was here, then in England and now somewhere in the south "teaching" which I'm fairly certain is code for "joined a pit crew"

Today, I noticed she commented on some old posts of mine which brought a smile to my face... I thought I'd lost her!

2. What the hell happen to Lou Diamond Phillips? He was in every other film in the late 80's and now he's gone! Last I heard, his wife left him for Melissa Ethridge and then got knocked up by David Crosby.

Hmm..... Maybe he killed himself.

3. Yankee fans are a bunch of whining cocksuckers! A bunch of spoiled babies that need their diapers changed! They are trying to run the greatest player in baseball out of town on a rail. To listen to these assholes whine you'd think Arod made all 54 outs the last two games.

Hey Yankee fans! Shut the fuck up.... You're embarrassing yourselves.


apparently I am not alone in my feelings on this subject. BRILLIANT article here...

(you'll need to C&P this) http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/061009

4. My better half's surgery - Never have I felt more useless in my entire life. Honestly, she's been through a lot and all I can do is hold her hand and say "it'll be all right" Which makes me useful as a port hole on a submarine!

When I first got to the hospital the day after the surgery I nearly passed out. She was all beat up looking and there was blood I.V. running. Every few minutes the nurse came in the check on the "blood flow" and starting squeezing the bag and flicking the drip with her finger. Honestly, my fiancee is a lot braver than I could ever be.... Fuck, a splinter sends me into a panic attack.

5. My Ipod shit the bed AGAIN! For those of you keeping score this is my third dead Ipod! They are sending me a NEW 30 gig this week. If it makes it until Christmas I'll be a happy guy.

6. Direct TV has the WORST costumer service history. For those of you thinking of leaving your local cable company for Direct TV.... Don't!

Unless you are a big football fan, as I am, and want 9 games a week in HD there is no reason to switch. Just call your local cable company and tell them you are leaving to go to Direct TV. They will offer to knock your bill down at least $30 a month. Trust me... it will work.

7. My writing partner and I have completed a treatment for Law & Order; Criminal Intent. It's awesome and better than 90% of the scripts they have ever done. Now, if I only had a connection over there..... WAIT A MINUTE! I fucking work there!

The producers have been jerking me around for weeks and I'm getting good and pissed off about it. Pretty soon I'm gonna tie it to a brick and throw through the window of the production office.

8. I drove Liza Manelli last week. I can't tell the story yet but will in time. I will say this.... The whole experience ended with her puckered up and telling me "kiss me"

Stayed tuned for that!

That's it for now. I will try and update this more often and thanks for stopping by! I haven't been posting comments on your blogs but I have been lurking. You guys are sooooo fucking talented it really floors me sometimes!