Monday, December 18, 2006

Annoyed Saves Christmas

Hotwire wrote a wonderful post defending Christmas trees

With respect to his views, which I ALWAYS appreciate and learn from, I feel compelled to ask one thing of ALL Christians who get "mad" every holiday season.....

What's the big deal with the damn trees?

Christian people will all at once yell about being allowed to display the tree. Then, in the next breath, will always be quick to point out it's not a religious symbol.


Then what's the point? What's all the fuse about?

I have a simple solution to all of this.... Since Christmas trees are "bad"... as are paintings of a fat guy in a red suit with a bunch of flying deer... why not come up with some alternate "symbols" to display? After all, they aren't religious so it wouldn't be blasphemous to do so....

All the Christians of the world can pass a note in church this weekend and email each other and generally keep it a secret amongst themselves. That way, when people of other religions see the symbol, they won't know it represents Christmas and can't bitch, moan and worst of all sue anyone this holiday season.

If we are all in agreement, let us vote.

Alternate symbol #1

Scarlett Johansson!

Her photo is EVERYWHERE! She's on the Internet, on every magazine cover in every supermarket and best of all she's super hot!

Guys, you can stare at her all you want and when your girl gets mad at you just say, "Baby, it's only a symbol.... When I look at her I'm thinking of God"

Which, is about 75% true in my case anyway.

Alternate Symbol #2

President George Bush!

Now, this may anger some people.... However, it's a perfect choice. His image already appears in most post offices, banks, and public libraries!

He can also be found on bumper stickers, the Internet and many magazine and newspaper covers almost every day. Again people, we are dealing with a "symbol" of Christmas.

This is also good because many of the people who call talk radio screaming about the "assault on Christmas" voted for him!

Alternate Symbol #3

The Menorah!

Now, this would be genius! Start putting these up EVERYWHERE! Jewish people will be happy because their side is getting a shout out and Christians would have a symbol no one would ever suspect!

Plus a tree dies... These things just need new candles every eight days! Leave em up year round and wink and smile at each other in August.

Point and say.... "Looks like Christmas came early this year"

What they don't know can't hurt 'em!


Blogger Trish said...

What Christians forget is that the Christmas tree is originally a pagan symbol. You bring it inside, you decorate it, it's pretty...what's the big deal?

Life's too short to take offence at every last thing.

(Except maybe W's face...please not so early in the morning:)

4:01 AM  
Blogger Dim said...

Wow. Scarlett is pretty nice. Wouldn't mind picking out one of her and strapping her to the roof of the car. Or something.

7:18 AM  
Blogger rosiegirl said...

You are a brilliant, brilliant man.
You will receive a Scarlett under the tree wrapped in a pretty bow.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Boo7 said...

excellent post Annoyed!! LOVE your alternative symbols....especially the pic of Scarlett!! Well, you know...ahem....errrr what I mean to say is.....for the artistic value of course.....just sayin'


11:11 AM  
Blogger Ramblin Rose said...

Brilliant!!! Awesome!! Love the alternate symbols but hey W and I'm with trish so early in the morning... its 8 am here ....

12:59 PM  
Blogger No1ofConsequence said...

I personally vote for the menorah. You know us sneaky Jews, we like to get our hooks into everything :-)

You are a funny, funny man.

2:42 PM  
Blogger B. said...

I guess we're all putting too much emphasis on the symbols of Christmas instead of the meaning. Christmas is a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ. Yes, I know people also celebrate it for other reasons and make up their own meanings, but Christmas is about Christ.
However, I will be keeping my tree, my Santas, my Nativity set, and my snowmen out.

3:44 PM  
Blogger KatyScarlett12 said...

How about a little Brad Pitt, for us girls. If you get to look at Scarlett with her nipples showing, we should at least get a little fight club Brad Pitt. Besides, Jesus probably looked something like fight club Brad Pitt after the Romans were through with him.

7:27 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

I don't give a shit what symbols people find offensive. I find those people offensive, can I remove them from this earth? No?

5:07 AM  
Blogger rosiegirl said...

KATY - OH MY GOD. LITERALLY. I just drew attention from everyone in my office from laughing so hard. if you were in front of me right now, I'g hug you and pour you a shot. I love your honesty.

B- With all do respect, aren't you contradicting yourself? I know this topic has sparked quite an intesrest on Hotwire's blog, and I'm jsut starting to get caught up with it now (sorry Hotwire!) but if this is what you mean:
"I guess we're all putting too much emphasis on the symbols of Christmas instead of the meaning. Christmas is a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ. Yes, I know people also celebrate it for other reasons and make up their own meanings, but Christmas is about Christ."

And the next statement is:
"However, I will be keeping my tree, my Santas, my Nativity set, and my snowmen out."

I've done research over the years on this, and have spoken to many Christians (those who have accepted Jesus Christ into their heart, so there's no confusion) and they agree with this:

Most Christians I know celebrate the Birth of Christ in September, where, through History and literal studies of the Bible recounting Jesus' birth would have taken place.

Also, Christmas falling on December 25th is a day chosen by ROMAN CATHOLICS, not CHRISTIANS (also your definition), to mask the Pagan "Winter Solstice" with a "Holy" meaning.

So, couldn't you celebrate the Actual Birth of Christ in September, and celebrate your family, togetherness and love on December 25th? Wouldn't that be the equivalent of sending Jesus a "Belated Happy Birthday" card?

7:57 AM  
Blogger B. said...

Rosie- Nope. I wasn't contradicting myself. It was just my attempt to be funny. Anyway, I'm done. I'm a Christian, who celebrates Christmas in December, puts up a Christmas tree, hangs stockings, and has opinions like everyone else. Between this post and Hotwire's blog, I've taken a lot of flack. Anyway, I don't hate people or people groups. I'm really a cool person and very down to earth. Too bad my opinions make me an outcast in our blogworld. But enough of this stuff. Now back to the regular programming.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Gunfighter said...

I'm A Christian... of the Lutheran variety.

Get rid of Christmas trees? Why?

Myself, I can take 'em or leave 'em. The tree is just a decoration, a place for ornaments. A tree at Christmas has NOTHING to do with my faith.

6:46 AM  
Blogger Karitown said...

Happy holidays, whatever your holiday happens to be. And have an awesome new year.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Jen-t said...

You crack me up. I think symbol number one has to have a male counter part, you know? Maybe George Clooney? The guy from House? Or maybe someone a tad younger (I'm 40, so I'm old). But the point is even us women say "Oh God, he's hot!" See, we are referencing God.

I have no idea where the tree came from and honestly I don't care. To me it's a commercial symbol, not a religious one.

I'll keep my spiritual/religious views to myself. They are mine and I don't expect anyone else to believe the same way I do. Live and let Live...Have a wonderful holiday!

7:23 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home