I Don't Have A Hernia!
You may remember a few posts back I told that I had been diagnosed with a hernia. This was great news as you recall because it meant I didn't have cock cancer...
Coming back to you? Good.
Friday afternoon I go see a specialist that performs these surgeries on a regular basis to get looked at and to schedule my surgery. He comes to the conclusion that I DO NOT HAVE A HERNIA!
(Seems my regular doctor misdiagnosed the problem!)
What the fuck?
The specialist determines this by sticking his fingers under my pelvic bone and pushing up with all his might while asking me to cough. "Come on, cough like you mean it!" he tells me!
Now this was difficult to do while biting my hand in pain by I try to give a good cough.
"Come on, really cough"
Here's the scene.... My pants are around my knees, with my junk in the wind. This quack is sitting eye level with my cock, his fingers touching my pelvic bone, yelling "Like you mean it"
Now I started coughing so hard I actually start wheezing!
Anyone standing outside the door would have assumed there was some geriatric porno being filmed inside.
This ends and he says, "I don't feel a hernia."
"Let me check the other side"
Replay scene.
Again, no hernia. He suspects I strained a muscle or pinched a nerve and with rest and a miracle drug I could be as good as new in 3 or 4 weeks.
The miracle drug....
Coming back to you? Good.
Friday afternoon I go see a specialist that performs these surgeries on a regular basis to get looked at and to schedule my surgery. He comes to the conclusion that I DO NOT HAVE A HERNIA!
(Seems my regular doctor misdiagnosed the problem!)
What the fuck?
The specialist determines this by sticking his fingers under my pelvic bone and pushing up with all his might while asking me to cough. "Come on, cough like you mean it!" he tells me!
Now this was difficult to do while biting my hand in pain by I try to give a good cough.
"Come on, really cough"
Here's the scene.... My pants are around my knees, with my junk in the wind. This quack is sitting eye level with my cock, his fingers touching my pelvic bone, yelling "Like you mean it"
Now I started coughing so hard I actually start wheezing!
Anyone standing outside the door would have assumed there was some geriatric porno being filmed inside.
This ends and he says, "I don't feel a hernia."
"Let me check the other side"
Replay scene.
Again, no hernia. He suspects I strained a muscle or pinched a nerve and with rest and a miracle drug I could be as good as new in 3 or 4 weeks.
The miracle drug....
Motrin!
FUCKING MOTRIN!
Three times a day for four weeks and I should be as good as new. Meanwhile, I haven't been to the gym in months because I was told I had a hernia! I'm a fat fuck right now. Soon to be a fat fuck with a bleeding stomach.
Cruel, cruel irony.
And just to be sure I asked this doctor, "No chance it could be cock cancer?"
"No!" he says, and he's not amused.
Jeez, what is the world coming to when you can't kid about cancer with a doctor?
Coughing like I mean it.......
posted by Mr. A at 12:27 PM
8 Comments:
roflmao!!! I'm sorry but as soon as I started reading this post I instantly recalled the previous post because I almost choked on my coffee back then when you said you were glad you did not have cock cancer!! Don't get me wrong I too am thrilled that such is not your affliction....but back then it made me laugh so hard because I had never heard of that particular medical condition!!
Anyway....sorry about your frustrations but I think it's good news that you don't have cock cancer or a hernia!!
that is just bizzare. Its odd it took that long to be seen as well.
Go to the gym but get an MD note from him..then when you get hurt you can sue.
That is the american way after all.
now you know how us ladies feel when it's time to go to the gyno.... though we dont have to cough...
I like March's comment.... :) And thanks for the kind offer of rootbeer.... I can get it at the usafoods.com.au so no need.... :) but thanks all the same....
I'm glad you don't have a hernia. I didn't even know you could get cock cancer.
You really make me laugh.
Goddamn, dude. Someone needs to start cutting you fat checks carte blanche to do a series that would rival "Curb Your Enthusiasm", especially after the LAST season! YOU RULE! Now step away from that box of Twinkies and give me 20...like you mean it!
Sooo glad you are okay, but I have to admit, I did spit my coffee everywhere!!!!! LOL, you are just too damn funny.
OHG - I feel your pain dude. Well, not quite, the parts are different but man I feel your pain. I went to my doc because I'd been having horrible stomach pain. And back pain. It was localized and it hurt like hell. He decided I had appendicitis (sp). He did an interal to check other parts and still decided I needed to go have my apendix taken out. So I drove home, called my husband and told him he needed to get his ass off the ice and take me to the hospital. We get there, they poke and prod me everywhere, I mean everywhere. I have some bizare test done and they say, nope, every thing looks fine. But I'm in so much pain!!!!! the ER doc says "Have you lifted or moved furniture lately?" My husband burst out laughing (I don't see the humor). We had just bought new furniture and I picked it up myself and the coffee table ways like a ton and well, it turns out I pulled my stomach muscle.
Yep - motrin. I feel your pain dude.
Post a Comment
<< Home