People I Can Do Without #18

Am I the only one a little bit tired of these "Undecided" voters?

These attention whores who find their way onto CNN and other news stations at the end of every debate. Last night, following the VP debate, I was subjected to another group of these losers.

And they are losers! A lot of "um" and "well" and general drivel flowed like tapped kegs of ignorance as the woman with the mic continued to stick it in each one of their bloated, uneducated faces. They try and use big words and wind up stammering worse than a retarded person with Tourette's. At the end of their "thought" it's always the same line... "Well, I STILL don't know"

In other words, "please invite me back for the next focus group, following the next debate so I can be on TV one more time"

I'm sorry, but we've been at this for EIGHTEEN months! You've had eighteen months to "decide" who you're voting for. If you can't make a decision in that amount of time do us all a favor and just don't vote! Your obviously too dumb to be trusted to do so.

I understood in 2000 when people were undecided. Bush and Gore literally agreed on every issue at all three debates. Dozens and dozens of times they said they agreed with each other. There were no real differences to be found and trust me, I looked.

In the end, I voted for none of the above and cast my ballot for Nader.

I was "undecided"

However, in 2008, that's not an option this late in the game. At this point, after the past eighteen months, it's time to pick a side and decide where you stand. And I really don't care where that is, just get on your damn feet!

There are clear and obvious differences on McCain and Obama's platforms and views.

Whatever your issue...

1. Health Care

2. Education

3. Alternative Energy

4. The Economy

5. Abortion

6. Iraq

7. Pakistan

8. Foreign Policy and how it will relate to discussions and negotiations with other nations.

There are clear differences, in BOTH campaigns, as they relate to personal philosophy and execution of all of these ideas above.

Make up your damn mind!

If you dedicated HALF the time you have whoring yourself out to focus groups these past eighteen months and actually took time to just THINK you wouldn't be "undecided"

And most importantly you wouldn't be on my television and in my living room!

Annoyed for President

I wrote the following months ago and never published it. Not sure why... it's pretty good! Anyway, as I warned when I jumped back into the madness that is blogging I will be getting a bit more political.


Don't worry, this won't become a "political blog." (the next post I've written is an interview with my cat) But this was worth sharing I thought.... I hope I can count on your votes in 2012!

I'm too young to run for President. However, in a few years that won't be the case.


With this in mind, I've decided to start my grass roots campaign now. In the coming weeks I will be announcing my cabinet, VP and slogan.

In the meantime here's some of my domestic policies....

1. Abortion will remain safe and legal.

- Wire hangers and back alley doctors will not have a place in my America. This will not be a state by state issue. It will be federal law!

2. Drugs will be decriminalized. Pot will be LEGAL!

- Pot is only illegal because of big business. The logging industry saw to this back in the early part of the 1900s. If you can grow it in your back yard it's yours to enjoy.

- Making pot illegal while alcohol isn't is backwards at best.

- The "War on Drugs" is a tremendous failure. How anything that attacks and looks to punish sick people can be considered "right" or "justified" is beyond rational thinking.

- Anyone caught selling drugs to anyone under the age of 18 will be sent to jail for 20 years with no chance of parole. Period. While drugs will be legal for any adult to enjoy the choice to use drugs will be a "grown up" one.

- The money being used to fight this "war on drugs" will be diverted into education and treatment. After giving people all the facts we will trust them to make choices for themselves. If they get in over their heads we will help them get back on track. We will treat people with compassion and understanding. A very underrated concept in today's America.

- Child Molesters will not serve less time than Pot Heads in my America.

3. We will be off gasoline by the year 2020.

- Alternative fuels will be developed here in America. People working for the oil companies will be hired by the new alternative providers. We will ensure this happens more often than not by offering tax incentives to do so.

- All diesel engines will be converted to run on bio-diesel.

- Ethanol will be outlawed. While it burns cleaner than gas it pollutes just as much to make. Plus, the corn lobby has run amuck for far to long in this country. Convert your fields to hemp or soy and lets move on.

4. Corn Syrup will be eliminated from all food products by the year 2015.

- People wonder why Americans are getting fatter and fatter. Look no further than your food labels. High Fructose Corn Syrup is literally killing people by the millions every year.

5. No more Bushes or Clintons will be allowed to hold political office.

- If this needs explaining I don't want your vote.

6. The electoral college will be destroyed.

- A concept created to ensure minorities had no voice in America. All these years later it still does.

- One person, one vote. People argue that it gives voice to everyone while it does the complete opposite. If I live in Texas and vote Democrat, why should I even leave the house on election day? Same if I want to vote Republican living in Massachusetts. In my America every one's vote will count. A crazy idea in a "democracy" I know.

7. Election day will be a national holiday.

- No more excuses for not voting (Ladies, I'm talking to you)

- In order to make room for this on the calendar, every forth year Columbus Day will not be observed. It's nonsense anyway.

8. Health care will be provided, free of charge, for anyone that can't afford it.

- You will be allowed to pick your coverage and if you already have it, the company you work for will be required to keep you on their health plan for the duration of your employment.

- Any company that employs more than ten people will need to offer health coverage to their employees.

9. Anyone caught quoting the bible in a public, political setting will be shot to death on site.

- If you think you know what Jesus would do then ask him directly!

10. Semi-automatic weapons will be banned!

-If the NRA has a problem with this then they can show up to a rally full of parents who lost their sons and daughters to gun violence, look them in the eyes and explain why a hunter needs to shoot Bambi with a banana clip full of ammo. If it's really a sport than let's make it bit more sporting....