A View From The Front Seat

I went for a drive today and these things stood out a bit...

1. The jerk off holding the piece of furniture, tied to his roof, with his left hand while driving with the right! We've all seen this guy... Sometimes it a piece of furniture, sometimes it's a mattress. Around Christmas time it's a fucking tree!

They tie the object up half-assed and then hold onto it with the tips of their fingers! Like if that mattress slips off the roof their three fingers are going to be able to hold onto it before it hits the road. Why are these people so stupid? And why am I always stuck right behind them on the highway?

2. The people in the E-Z Pass lane STILL aren't reading my blog!

3. Gas is still fucking expensive!

4. When did every restaurant become a "bistro?" I mean, where was I and how come I didn't get the memo. I looked up the definition of the word and found this:

bis·tro (bē'strō, bĭs'trō) n., pl. -tros.
1. A small bar, tavern, or nightclub.
2. A small, informal restaurant serving wine

The key word being "small."

I've eaten at Italian Bistros, Chinese Bistros, Mexican Bistros and once at a place just called "Bistro"

They have all been HUGE! At least 40 tables. Some have required a certain dress code. None of them have been what those definitions imply they should.

I have come to the conclusion that the new definition of "Bistro" should read like this...

bis·tro (bē'strō, bĭs'trō) n., pl. -tros.
1. An overrated restaurant selling ethnic food with too much salt added to it.
2. A restaurant trying to be fancy and charging you obscene prices to prove it!

I'm going to open a bistro and sell jug wine. It will contain four tables and clothing is optional! We will serve huge portions of food at reasonable prices.

I will call it "The O.G. Bistro"

Cause, you know, I'm old school.