Tuesdays With No One
I've had my fill of Tuesdays....I would like to propose the elimination of the day from the calendar completely. It serves no real purpose if you think about it...
Think about it in broader terms... It will eliminate 52 days a year. Seasons can be enjoyed by everyone on their birthdays. Meaning, if your birthday is in August, every three years you can go skiing. If your birthday is in December, every three years you can head to the beach for your birthday. Granted, you could just fly somewhere now but who needs that hassle and why should you have to take vacation days from work just to be warm on your birthday? You shouldn't!
Now there is another issue...What happens to people with birthdays during the last few days of the month? Fair question and I have the answer... One big birthday day on the last day of the month. We'll call it.... The BIG Birthday Day! Hallmark will LOVE this! As will bars and restaurants... It's good for the economy! Better than any election day has ever been.
I know there are selfish pricks out there who will say..."I want my own day"
Well, to these people I say the following..... Too bad! When you're surfing in February you'll thank me.
There is one much bigger issue to consider as well.... Let's say the average person checks out at 70... If this plan goes into effect tomorrow someone just born will live an extra 10 years! Not too shabby... People 30 will live an extra 5-6 years. I know what your think...It's the same number of days...Well, yes, maybe it is. You glass-half-empty sour ass.
There are many possibilities for this plan. If anyone has one of their own feel free to suggest in the comments section.
Enjoy the worthless day everyone!
- Monday = Beginning of the week and the start of something new.
- Wednesday= Hump Day, the downside turn towards the weekend.
- Thursday= Big drinking night! Also, can represent the end of the week if you take Friday off.
- Friday= TGIF
- Saturday= A night out with friends and/or significant others.
- Sunday= Sleeping late, and Football 5 months a year!
Think about it in broader terms... It will eliminate 52 days a year. Seasons can be enjoyed by everyone on their birthdays. Meaning, if your birthday is in August, every three years you can go skiing. If your birthday is in December, every three years you can head to the beach for your birthday. Granted, you could just fly somewhere now but who needs that hassle and why should you have to take vacation days from work just to be warm on your birthday? You shouldn't!
Now there is another issue...What happens to people with birthdays during the last few days of the month? Fair question and I have the answer... One big birthday day on the last day of the month. We'll call it.... The BIG Birthday Day! Hallmark will LOVE this! As will bars and restaurants... It's good for the economy! Better than any election day has ever been.
I know there are selfish pricks out there who will say..."I want my own day"
Well, to these people I say the following..... Too bad! When you're surfing in February you'll thank me.
There is one much bigger issue to consider as well.... Let's say the average person checks out at 70... If this plan goes into effect tomorrow someone just born will live an extra 10 years! Not too shabby... People 30 will live an extra 5-6 years. I know what your think...It's the same number of days...Well, yes, maybe it is. You glass-half-empty sour ass.
There are many possibilities for this plan. If anyone has one of their own feel free to suggest in the comments section.
Enjoy the worthless day everyone!
posted by Mr. A at 6:25 AM
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