TWO Dollars!
I literally lost my mind tonight. The whole tale is starting to come back to me slowly and I think I can present it here.
I work in NYC and drive to work everyday. Once there I am forced to put my car in a parking garage because there in no street parking in NYC these days.
Tonight, I leave work and head to the garage. Once there, I stand and wait while the parking attendant is "explaining" to a man why it costs $12 more to park an SUV in the same exact spots they park all the cars in for $12 less. The attendant was a foreign fellow and the man finally relented and paid him the extra money.
The attendant then approaches me and I hand him my ticket and $20. This is the exact amount I owe. A moment goes by and the guy returns and tells me "You owe me two more dollars" and shows me the claim ticket. It's stamped with two different times on it, one that reads 7:03 AM and one that reads 7:05 PM. It seems that if you go over 12 hours the flat rate of $22 kicks in....
Now, it's TWO dollars but I've been standing there for five minutes while this guy argued with the other man. I tell him, "I've been here at least five minutes and I'm not paying you any extra money because you took your sweet-ass time getting around to helping me"
He says, "You just got here, you owe me two more dollars"
I say, "I stood here and listened to you debate the last guy (I repeat their conversation word for word) now give me my car"
He replies, "You weren't here and your not getting your car until you give me the two dollars"
At this point I LOSE MY SHIT!
I freak the fuck out on this guy.... He's calling me a liar and trying to squeeze extra money out of me in the process. My end got a little heated at this point.
I say, "You are either blind or a liar...Or both!"
I lean on over, look him right in the face and say VERY slowly, "Now give me my car"
To which he replies "Not until I get my two dollars"
I'm in the middle of Better Off Dead
I launch into..."You are a scumbag liar! A BLIND, scumbag liar! I'm not giving you another cent you asshole!"
At this point another guy had arrived for his car and has been waiting while most of this plays out...
GUY: Give him the two dollars!
ME: Stay out of this.
GUY: I come here every night. This guy is a sweetheart.
ME: He's a scumbag!
GUY: All this over two dollars?
ME: It's the principle! Who the fuck asked you your opinion anyway?
GUY: I've had a long day. You are ruining my Aura!
AT this point I throw myself into a spastic fit! I jump up and down and wave my arms up and down while spinning around in a circle.
ME: Not your aura.... Your delicate fucking aura! What will I do for sleep tonight if I ruin your aura?
GUY: Now your starting with me?
ME: Starting with you? You're the one who threw yourself into the middle of this!
GUY: I want to go home! Here (reaches into his wallet) I'm paying the two dollars!
ME: I don't give a shit who pays it as long as I don't!
The attendant is now YELLING for my car to brought around. It arrives in record time and I take time to call the middle man a "Green Tea drinking, Yoga, aura asshole" and thank him for his two dollars!
I'm driving away and realize that I will have to find a new garage tomorrow. I can't ever park there again. Of course, as luck would have it, it's the closest and cheapest garage to my job!
The black out ends and I think to myself....
Principle damn it!
Principle!
***UPDATE!!!***
Well, as it turns out, the gargage next to this one is actually cheaper!
Also, on my way home Friday night I looked in and saw three guys in a HEATED discussion with the SAME parking guy! They were yelling at him and pointing at the sign with the parking rates on it! He was trying to get over on them too...
It was 3:00 in the morning so I didn't stick around to see how it all ended. Wonder if the "aura" guy stepped into that one too?
posted by Mr. A at 5:13 PM
15 Comments:
have you ever seen the michael douglas move, "falling down"? just wondering...
way to take it to the the new age ass!
Hotwire-
Yes I've seen it....
And yes, I was a COMPLETE ass! I would have paid it until he said I was lying about standing there the whole time.
I had a LONG day and had just watched the guy fleece the proceeding guy.
He made an extra $14 in 10 minutes and neither charge was legit!
I was getting pissed off reading this! What the hell! I would have totally and utterly lost it with both of these idiots. Good thing I don't carry a handgun. I read about these people who lose it and I get it!
You finding a better garage is Karma. Screw aura.
He probably keeps the extra $ for himself.
Man, I really hope a security camera caught this and it shows up on You Tube!
- D.
I fully expected this to be posted on the other blog. Not only will that story someday be funny it is very funny today. I swear I wish I had recorded it on the phone when you called, because it would have been the best audio blog ever.
Well done.
That's great! "I want my two dollars!" Classic Annoyed!
A.S.S.
parking garages are the WORST for stuff like that.
Oh and please, post the name of that garage so next time I am in NYC I can avoid (or drive by and spit, whichever)
You seem to have a problem when it comes to parking garages. Maybe you should start using public transportation! As always, the story was good for a laugh!
nowifeofconsequence
Hi! blogger is doing weird things, I saw this post when you first posted it, commented and then your post disappeared and your old post was up.. hmmm spooky,
This was totally hillarious...
RR
Okay that is so you. Hilarious. Hilarious. Im rolling....PRINCIPLE!!!!!! That is even better than "bang her".
I hear you dude. Principles is all we have left these days. It's a shame the other guy didn't pay the entire amount.
I've had this happen to greater figures while waiting for these bastards to bring my car down from the elevator on 46th St. The only upside was that there was a cigar convention going on and a fellow smoker offered me something to kill the time in a pleasured way. So...I pay $10 for the extra time and smoke a $20 cigar.
Not bad.
Will someone please give Annoyed a big fat check, the perfect cast (you could slay Larry David, you talented fuck) and 12 weeks to dominate the world?
BTW: You owe me 10% if anyone gets inspired due to my notions. It's been blog commented and will hold up in court.
You could also let me score it but I'd make less. That's a 3% negotiation...
;)
That freaking sucks butt. I'm so glad you stood your ground and didn't pay the extra money. What a tool that garage guy was.
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