Guest Blog #2
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Posts, if accepted, will appear unedited with full credit going to their original author...
The second guest blog is from the same angry man as the first.
Enjoy!
Let’s save a fucking tree for fucks sake!
Guess who’s back…back again….A.S.S. is back, that’s who!!!!!!!!!!
I’d like to talk a little bit today about receipts. You know….those little annoying fucking pieces of paper the incompetent check out boy insists on giving you even if you only are buying a bottle of water. I mean, what the hell?! Am I really going to need to return a bottle of Desani?! Even if there was something wrong with it would it really beworth my time?!
Ok, let’s say, for the sake of argument, that it is a larger order than just one thing. What’s with all the fucking paper! I mean there are coupons, and credit receipts, and the actual receipt! By the time they get done you are holding the damn encyclopedia Britannica. All you can think of is "where the hell can I throw all of this away."
Oh, and G-d forbid you are crafty enough to rush away before the damn 15 year old, pimple faced, pubescent, shithead can hit you with your coupon for 25 cents off of a can of evaporated milk! He needs to scream after you “Don’t you want your receipt sir ?!” and then give you a dirty look for not taking it. He needs you to take it because if you don’t he’s fucking stuck with it, and he doesn’t want it either!
You would think that with all the technology they could find a way to post your receipt online so that you didn’t need to go through all of that. I mean don’t we kill enough trees without killing more for no reason?! Seriously, if they insist on continuing to use paper receipts they should make them out of softer paper. At least then I could wipe my ass with them and they would have an actual purpose!
A.S.S.
posted by Mr. A at 1:24 PM
4 Comments:
Hello A.S.S.! I agree with your rant halfway - I throw away cash receipts for stupid crap, but I keep all my receipts from my credit or debit card because I look at them later.
If I say "I don't need my receipt", I get the dirty look, too! What the hell is so hard about throwing it away in their little trash can beside the register?!
Silly places that have the policy..if we don't give you a recepit your purchase is free! Funny that only is in small shops..not when I buy a plasma at Best Buy.
Mitch Hedberg talks about getting a slip for a donut..classic stuff.
I've heard that piece by Mitch.
Very funny
A.S.S.-I completely agree with you. What's even MORE annyoing than the receipts are the "sidecars" they print out for you at the Supermarket the exact size of your store receipt that features a special set of "coupons", ones that feature $1.00 off Septic Tank cleaners (oh so valuable to the City-dwellers..duh) or, my favorite: "Enter to win an all-expense paid trip for four to New York City!!! Yay!!! Oh, wait. Hmm, judging from where I'm standing, all I'm gonna win is a hot $6.00 to cross over to the tunnel. cause, we live 5 minutes from the Holland and the Lincoln.
Can they make those 2-ply?
May the ass-wipings begin!
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